Attending an End-of-Life Event? Follow this Helpful Guide to Funeral Etiquette

Whether it’s your first funeral or you need a refresher, this guide to funeral etiquette will help you offer your support with grace and dignity.

Funerals and memorial services are about celebrating the life of the departed while also respecting the needs of the family members at a difficult time. Being polite, thoughtful, and appropriate in your behavior and dress are the keys to good manners at end-of-life events.

To help you, we have compiled the following brief guide to funeral etiquette.

Send flowers or make a donation.

It’s appropriate to send flowers to the bereaved family at their home before the funeral. If you’re not close with the family, it’s also acceptable to send them directly to the funeral home or bring flowers to the service. It’s common for the family to request donations to a relevant charity instead of receiving funeral flowers. If this is the case, it’s best to honor their request for a donation. You can typically find this information in the funeral notice or by calling the funeral home. 

Carefully choose your attire.

A good rule of thumb when deciding what to wear to a funeral is to dress as if you were going to a job interview. Generally, this means sticking to something conservative, understated, and dark or neutral in color. If you’re attending a funeral in another religion or culture, it’s best to research the appropriate dress code.

Don’t just show up.

If you’ve heard the news about someone you know passing on, check the obituary to see who can attend the funeral. Funerals aren’t always open to the general public, and there may be specific times for friends and family to visit. There may also be rules about bringing children and whether it’s a public or private service. 

Don’t take photos.

Funerals bring people together who rarely see each other. You might wind up with relatives and friends you haven’t seen in years. While you might feel tempted to catch up and take photos together, the funeral of a loved one is not the appropriate time or place. Avoid taking photos and catching up during the funeral; instead, make arrangements to visit while they’re in town.

Stay off your phone.

A funeral is a time to support the family of the departed and pay your respects, so don’t answer your phone. Turn it off, put it on silent, or leave it in the car. You’ll feel more present and available to support those around you.

Immediate family is seated first.

Generally, immediate family members and close friends sit at the front during the funeral service. Then, additional close family and friends sit close behind. If you’re not family or a close friend, it’s proper etiquette to wait until other people take their seats and find a place behind them.

Prepare some words of sympathy. 

Funeral receptions are a chance for mourners to express their condolences to the bereaved family in person. It’s a time to reflect on fond memories and share kind words with other attendees. With this in mind, it’s wise to prepare a few polite and sincere words of sympathy for the immediate family. When in doubt, think about what you would want to hear if you lost a loved one. If you’ve never met the family before, introduce yourself and tell them how you knew the departed.

Find ways to offer help.

As the family goes through their grief journey, it might be hard for them to stay on top of cooking, cleaning, and other daily chores. Offer to help with basic tasks like grocery shopping or running errands, or drop off some pre-made meals.

Funerals and memorials are revered end-of-life events that can bring great comfort to those who have suffered the loss of a loved one. If you have questions about this guide to funeral etiquette, or if you wish to make funeral arrangements, we are here for you. Please reach out to us anytime.

About Batchelor Brothers Funeral Services: As a leading African American-owned and operated funeral and cremation organization, Batchelor Brothers Funeral Services has provided a ministry of care to thousands of grieving families. We promise to provide our highest level of distinguished service and respect to families who entrust us to honor their loved ones. With two convenient locations serving North and West Philadelphia, it is always our pleasure to be of service. For more information about our funeral, cremation, memorial, repast, and grief counseling services, please visit batchelorbrothers.com.